I didn't feel much like a god
A lot of people ask if writing Dear Stephen Michael's Mother was of therapeutic value. I understand that. My usual answer is, "No, but I'm glad I had a lot of therapy before I wrote it!"
Of course the writing process did have an influence on me. I'd have to say it was more from a place of finding purpose. If you read the book you'll understand the struggles and successes I've experienced, and this was again another struggle and success. The hardest thing for me to do was to find a way to limit the disappointments, but I have tools to address disappointment so that wasn't my greatest worry.
My most significant objective was to define for myself what I would or would not regret. I can live with disappointments. Regrets will send me in a much less desirable direction.
When I edited the first draft from 139k to 101k, I was confident I could continue to make progress. Then, after months of working with an editor, the word count rested at 85k, and I knew there was some real hope. After reading the final draft twice, I recognized I had done everything I could do, and while I didn't feel much like a god, I knew that I had created something, and that it was good.
That's when I passed the line of regret.
It was a stunning moment.